June 4th, 2009

Broken

(no subject)

I've started and deleted quite a few posts now, to post to my own as well as a couple different communities. I get it all spelled out and suddenly remember that wading back into it all really doesn't do any good.

I am trying to keep my head up, to stay above the negative energy or bickering or negativity, to not let the state and the job and the process wear me down. Days like today, however, can make that pretty challenging.

All in all, i feel pretty good about it. Well...maybe not good, but as good as one can feel knowing they made the best decisions possible in a lousy situation. Much like having written long tirades and deleted them before putting them out there, i've generally been able to get control of my emotional responses before they get the best of me, to focus on what's important and filter out the surrounding crap.

We confirmed more dates for mediation today...7 more full days in june. Plus one more day for the monthly board meeting, plus a rally to plan and pull off, plus what will be a very contentious chapter meeting, plus a handful of various committee meetings, plus starting bargaining with the union's staff. Oh, plus the full time job that this all fits around.

There are a great many people that simply go to work, go home, have dinner, laugh at the tv and go to sleep soundly.
I don't think i'd ever want to be that...but i do admit to a small part of myself being envious.
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